Baby, make me smile

I must admit time has seriously flies so quickly and swiftly till sometimes I do miscalculate on the events that are happening. But just a blink of my eyes, I can't help it but move a few steps back & recall those little events happening in my life. Well, I believe people definitely knows what am I typing. I never imagine myself to be able to have the courage to step back & think back my past till now. Well, I must say I've the courage. I meant by strongest courage to talk about my ♥ story with my Boyf♥. I guess I have say alot of times, but this time round. It will be my Fifth Monthsary inspiration for him. I don't know why but lately the past kept on hitting me which leads to type my little ♥ story. If you find it bored, please don't read. Cos it is simply dedicated just for my Boyf♥. & I am definitely going to type from the beginning till now. It is gonna be a long long post, so Boyf♥ slowly read.

On 12 Nov 2oo7, 2146pm. A beautiful ♥ story happens between me & some guy. Well. I know it is a mistake being with this guy, but I didn't care much yet carry on loving him, needing him, wanting him, missing him. Cos I realized that I finally moved on from my first love after being with him. He is one guy that I know I loved more than anyone else. Because he simply taught me how to be able to believe in future & things that I never have the courage to think. Life is predestined to have a certain amount of true loves. He is my 2nd true ♥. I know that for sure, cos I believe & trust myself. Well. As we approached to school reopen, our hearts are still in ♥ with each other & we know we will be able to be together after Olvls is over. Happily, I spend my 2nd Monthsary with him. Although we didn't meet up, yet we had alot of fun. He let me know that love isn't all about meeting up or what, yet its the heart that brings two together. Our ♥ is so magical & unique. One type of ♥ that I never knew I can be so happy. But life do have its ups & downs. Nightmares come eventually, unhappiness happen. Things which I prayed never to happen eventually takes place.

On 21 Jan 2oo8, oo44am. That fateful night. My ♥ story with that guy ended. Something that I didn't expect to occur. I couldn't face to facts. But on that very night, I didn't cry yet I even called my Best Friend & tell her all about it. I can hear from her tone that she is quite worried for me, but I know I was fine. I believe I was fine. Unbelievablely, I spend the night sleeping soundly until the next day. It was another school day. A Monday. The start of a week. During my social studies lesson which is 2 periods before recess. I broke down in tears. Thousands droplets of tears came rolling down. As I memerized about my past with him, those tears just kept falling down my cheeks. My whole eyes were swollen. Friends were worried. But I can't control myself. I cried days & nights for him, but he doesn't know at all. My tears seemed to be free flow. I kept on crying, shedding endless tears just for him. I always thought that he is my only one true love that I can love forever. But things weren't what I expect. I cried for 3 weeks straight. Any random timing, my eyes can't help it but just shed. No one knows why except those who are pretty close to me. I tried to be really happy, but nothing seemed to works, yet I cried & cried non stop. I tried ways to reconcile with him as I believe in 2nd chances, but it just wouldn't work. Efforts were never paid off trying to be back with him. The guy that I once knew & whom loved me loads doesn't bother & care about me anymore. I was totally heartbroken. Then, I told myself to wake up from this fairytale & move on. I know my heart is thinking of him as I count my singlehood. As months pass by, I count my singlehood like some idiot. Everyone knows I am still loving him, but they just kept quiet.

I guess fate knows how to play its game really well. A guy happen to pop out in my life while I was playing MapleVIA. Some private server. I didn't quite want to play but my brother encouraged me & I played awhile. Unknowingly, I met up a guy. Really interesting. He is a quiet guy who doesn't talk much. No matter how much I tried to talk alot, he will simply just reply in short sentences. I exchanged email with him. Immediately, I went to his friendster & take a look. His look honestly disgusted me totally cos he look like in his thirties. To my dismay, he is only 18! I was surprised. This guy is simply just a Hi & Bye friend, we didn't talk much as he went overseas. Both of us were simply just friends who chat & chat, nothing but chatting. At that moment, I am still in ♥ with that jerk. That guy still belongs in my heart. Well.., before that I know my heart is still bleeding thanks to a sentence he said. He told me "Our Love Is Just A Game". My heart died completely towards relationships. Totally died. That's why that guy didn't caught my eye at all. But all I know he's Desmond. That's about all I know about him. We does msg-ing. & at that period of time, a guy named Kaile say he is in ♥ with me & will be waiting for me. But I've no interest. My interest on never met before guys totally died. I never want ♥ anymore after that heartbreak. As usual, Desmond & I continue chatting as friends. Several occasions, we chatted on the phone. I recalled him saying I speak english was kinda hard & can't believe I am so english. I didn't know he doesn't speak English but I just carried on. I know I enjoyed talking to him just as a mere friend. As time flies, we still do chat & what's so lovely is finally we met up. I know I was kinda afraid. & Our first meeting, we are supposed to meet at Sentosa, but last minute my godbrother & friends wanna tag along. Eventually we took hours. When I first met him, my whole eyes was like "He is sooo tall". Well he is one friend that I've known that drives and he's so tall. I know I was really shy. I don't even dare to look him in the eyes & he treated Pastamaniac for the first time. I was so shy till I only ordered the cheapest meal there. Although he ain't that handsome, but he treated me to watch "Songs of the sea". But that day was kinda ruined cos it happened to rain so heavily & my moods were swaying really badly.

I was so sad, unhappy. Cos images of my previous entered my head, causing me in a whirl. For I remember, Desmond kept complaining he's damn wet! I thought that was the end of our friendship after both of us took Bus 188 back to Lot 1 to meet up my Best Friend & Best Friend's sister. I thought that is going to be the end. I know for all the times meeting up him, I can't help it but bring him to meet my Godbro. Cos I can't help it but not be alone with him. What surprises me is that we stayed contact & he even asked me out for movie. Batman ; The Dark Knight was our 1st ever movie together. Along with Anson & Zhenwen, we catch the movie at Causeway Point. He treated me & I was utterly surprised. I sat beside him, but nothing happened. I only know I enjoyed the show really alot (: After that, back to find my Godbro. I don't know why. Slowly as days pass by, we continue msg-ing here & there. There was once I just tell him "love me or hate me, you choose" then he told me that "I ♥ you". I was astounded but my friend told me not to think. I was quite surprised as occasionally he will come down CCK to find me with his friends. Well, nothing runs through my head at all. Just thought he was being random to come down. There was also one time he told me he is in trouble. But I tried asking and he just wouldn't say. Then I let him be. After a month or so, on Aug 3o. Close to 5pm, you send me a text. A text that I know I never believe that I am actually receiving it. "Are you willing to let me take care of you?" I only know you didn't do anything to show you are in ♥ with me or what, nothing at all. But surprisingly, you say such a thing & I was left in astonishment. Questions kept running through my head and no answers at all. Well, I only know I was so lost then I told you I got alot of questions to ask you & I want answers. By then, when you call me, I told you about the other guy & you told me you didn't expect a compeition at all. But unbelievably, I being myself, I can actually get myself caught up into 2 guys. Confused me. But I know you give me answers but many questions are still in my mind, heart & soul. After your confession, our next met up was on a day before your birthday. I couldn't believe I actually forget its you who confessed to me, then I surprised you with Fish & her boyf that time. It totally surprises you. Fish tried disturbing but I know I have no interest. Means and ways are created but nothing caught me. Counselling sessions were held for us, but I know nothing went in. Finally you gave me what you wanna give me. I wasn't feeling anything but I know I was like okays..... Then, I sung you a "Happy Birthdayy" song on 21st midnight. I don't know how you feel, but you are my friend. That's all.

As time passes by, I give you chances by letting us meet up quite a few times with my friends. Maybe I can sense your heart, but nothing can hit that part of my heart. Nothing at all. Well. I only know the more they tried, the more irrated & annoyed I felt. Due to many facts they were causing, they make me loathe you quite abit & unknowingly I accepted you blindly without thinking. We steaded a day & I totally hate it. The feeling I have for you is fake. Nothing is real at all :/ I feel nothing but just friends. You msg me, I can't bring myself to say anything sweet or what. Being honest, I ask my aunty for advice then I decided to end it within a day rather than more hurts despite many encouragements! I know I've hurt you. But I guess its best. After that, as time pass by, we gotten closer. Maybe as close friends? But I know I enjoy myself alot with your company. I guess fate is mysterious sometimes. On 2nd Oct, as I was talking to you, my heart started to tick tick. Feeling weird. But I didn't think so much until you didn't bother to give me any msg while I wait. I was online, typed you an offline msg saying "I wanna tell you something" Eventually, plucking that amount of courage, I told you. "itihffyu". I know you didn't get it at all. But I know I was already in ♥ with you but I can't confirm if that's ♥ cos I don't want to hurt you at all! I am scared but I just send you all sorts of songs just to tell you the meaning & I know my hands can't stop typing "FUCK YOU". I don't know what you were thinking that time, but I only know I've indeed fallen for you. ♥. Miracle & Magical. The two words I can use to describe. Never knowing that will happen, but it happen. Life can be so mystical sometimes. Controlling my heart for about a week, I can't help it but feel that my ♥ for you is getting deeper & deeper. Finally that very night, the Magic & Miracle happen.

1o October 2oo8, o32oam ♥ ; Desmond & Danielle's ♥ story.
It finally happen. My heart & your heart finally are connected as we break free & start our relationship brand new filled with nothing but just ♥. I guess this is how our ♥ works. I know starting, things were brand new towards me. Here & there, I feel so new. Cos I realized that I've not been in ♥ for such a long period of time. & everything seemed so new. Our ♥ is pretty unique as no matter where we are, we definitely have people around following us or maybe even doing the same things as us. I don't know why but I only know I am attached to you. But this time, it is definitely different compared to the one day relationship with you. Special, indeed. You are a guy that is so special. You ain't that kind that pampers girl or what, yet the really mature kind which I never been with before. One guy that I never thought of FOREVER or what that is irrevalant. The past is enough so I don't wish to repeat it. I don't know how ♥ begins but it will definitely continue growing between me & him. One magic that actually happens. Our ♥ is just that lovely. As we countdown each week, it is definitely filled with different things around. As I recalled back, we actually celebrated Monthsary together, occasions togethers. & unknowingly, I can't help it but smile to myself. I still remember shedding my tears for you, quarreling with you & many ups and downs to make us this strong & everlasting. Just like that, each single day passes by. The ♥ just carry on growing and growing making me caught up in my footsteps to think back what we have once shared together. Everything in you, I know I can't forget because you bought my soul, my heart, my mind, my love, my everythin back to life. No more useless thoughts & I really hope it will stop so we can be happily together. Whether 1 year or 2 year or 1o years down the road, I know I will always have you, always love you whatever it is. Cos you taught me how to be a different girlf♥. No more childish as I grow up each single day.

So I must say, to love & to be loved by someone is a long journey spend. & I indeed have such a long journey with you. I don't wish to stop this journey yet continue travelling in this journey along side with you. I don't know what is going to happen in the near future. But I know that whatever it is, you will always have me by your side. Whatever it is, you are never alone anymore cos you solely belong to me, myself & I. I maybe emotional sometimes, but no matter what. You are the guy of my heart, my soul, my love, my mind, my brain, my everything. No sweet words or what is able to say what I am feeling for you, yet simply just the three words " I ♥ You". Well, the power of ♥? I guess. Well. I don't know how to say but we have already come this far, I've no desire but just to carry on walking and walking with you by my side. I don't know how emotions can be controlled. But I believe it will be overcome, as long as I've the heart & faith. (: Well. Magical ♥, right? I may not be the one best girlf in the whole universal or you may not be the one best boyf in the whole universal but you meant the whole entire world inside my whole body, heart, mind & soul which means everything. All I must say is we are finally approaching our Fifth Monthsary ♥. I am really happy for that. & I will definitely hope to spend many more monthsary with you and what's best, let's celebrate yearsary together, alrightey? Nothing is able to express my deepest love but I must say. I am going to write the bottom inspiration to add along my fifth monthsary inspiration just for you, Baby <3 Well. What I must say to the whole world is that "I have no desire to run away in this beautiful love story yet just continue this beautiful lovely journey with Desmond Toh Yong Qiang". (:


Our Fifth Monthsary <3
1o March 2oo9, o32oam <3

& Baby, I ♥ you with my heart..,
I guess this journey being with you is a fruitful and meaningful one
Cos being with you is like a princess finally finding her one true knight
And I know that being with you will not be a mistake
Our love is real towards each other & let's prove to the world that we can last
With ♥, happiness & many other emotions in us
I hope & I believe that together as one, we can tide through bad obstacles together
& Never leaving each other at all, cos I know you ♥ me & I ♥ you.
A fact that can never be changed at all
Just like that, we have unknowingly come upon our 5th Monthsary
& through our fifth monthsary, I believe you and I do occasionally think back
Of how much we have walked through together to be what we are now
Whatever comes in the near future, let's face it together, alrightey
Let's be happy & never letting anything causing any downfall
& I believe we will be happy as one pair of couple.
Baby, you know what I say is true, so therefore
I dedicate this post just for you.
Although its early, but it is from me to you.

对你的爱，我知道什么是真爱。
我不知道什么是田长地久可是我知道自己爱你很多。
爱你爱到无法自拔因为我知道你改变了我的人生。
宝贝老公，你是我的幸福快乐的理由。
Smile because you really want to
& Cry beacause you also want to (:

This is for early fifth monthsaryyyy <3