Boyfriend, I have no idea when will you ever read this blog post. Probably when I hopped onto this blog then you read this blog post. Just hope one fine day, you will read and know my meaning. I don't know how long will you get it but I still have this glimpse of hope that you will get it.
Boyfriend, do you know that time I told you its time to work. Yet eventually, you misunderstood, you think I am being selfish, not understanding you. I have been understanding you. Did you realize for you, I have not done anything for months already. I don't get you, you know. You told me IAP, but did you also realize why IAP will become like that? Because you never once tell me your emotions, things never become that way cos you never mentioned anything. You should know, for you I did not work when you are not enlisted. I spend as much time as possible with you yet you think I am still like shit. Then, when you enlisted, I decided to go to work yet you still think all of those silly things. Normally guys enlisted, I get to work just to help. I don't get it. Because I really don't know what's in your mind. Do you know sometimes I wish you can understand, you know why I want to work. You say you think about our future, then how about my money, phone expenses and everything. I don't understand you, you know. I have been asking, hoping you will tell me answers. I'm really worried for you, you know. Your parents asked, my parents asked, everyone asked, just to protect you, I am doing everything I can already. I really don't know why things become like that. I am really worried for you, you know. I am very very anxious for you. I have no idea what you are thinking. I want to work, you think I am not understanding, I am not being selfish. But you jolly well know working is all about understanding, knowing what's wrong with you. I am very worried for you, you know. You become overly paranoid, no idea why you like that. I have been spending as much as possible hoping you let me work, understand all situations. I really hope you can understand, one day. I love you, please know that. I admit I don't like you mentioning break off and everything. But how? Why you become like that? You know all the reason why I want to work, what I want to do for our future. I really hope one day you will be fine, be positive, overcome everything. I really waiting for you to be understanding and start seeing what's happening. Please know that I love you and please know what's going on. I love you, always do.