Wo Ai Ni x3

& He Is The Man Who Found Me & Made Me Realized What Its Like To Be Loved
Sometimes being on the Bus is the best time when you, yourself & simply just by yourself sits there and start reflecting back on every single happenings in life. Well, I did just that today. I have no idea why but I sat down on the bus and gave a deep thought of every single thing that happened in my life before. I remembered all my ex-es & many other memories. I realized I have finally reach the maturity level of love this year only. Well.., I have to say apart from just pondering on my past, I went to think of what my Boyf told me. It simply just kept ringing in my ears. So much until now, I still hear it ringing.

First & foremost, I am just going to type what I ponder before heading off to what Boyf's words. Well, I realized how terribly I spend my life. Without Winn, I guess I will still be a useless piece of shit. But I realized it wasn't only Winn who changed my life. It was so many different things. I actually recalled my arguement with dad & mom last year. I remember alot of memories. I realized how bad I was during my younger times. I also remember how suckish my relationships are. How guys trampled me & how I actually made use of them when I still love my first love the other time. I realized it wasn't their fault either, it was my fault... It is a fact, that love harms me alot. But I know I will be safe now. I have no idea how long I will last with my beloved Boyf but I know, without him, I wouldn't love him that much

Today upon thinking of how things are not meant to be & meant to be, my head starts to rewind back to the time when I know my Boyf. The man who I loved now. I realized how our love story has become. In fact, the journey of us is simply so remarkable cos he is simply the first guy who starts from the path of friendship then to the romance level. I guess, this is how our love become so high like what it is now. Touched, definitely. But I know one thing for sure, my love for him is undeniablely truthful. Because I realized how important he is to me. Yes Jordan hurt me bad. So bad ): But Desmond Toh made me moved on. Despite not having the best looks, but he knows how to treat a girl

In fact, Desmond Toh is the first guy who is my Boyf who is able to make me cry so much, and simply just pour my whole heart for. I never know I will love this guy this much till the day my tears just keep pouring down. I never really expected myself to fall for him so deeply. We did nothing but he made me feel the deepest love in him. Well the sentence he said which kept me ringing was "Save $$ for 2nd mth, let's buy rings". I have to confess, my head was total blank..I have no idea what emotions to use.. I really don't know...

If he really buys a ring for me & him, he is the first guy who ever did that amongst my 6 ex-es. He will definitely be the first. But I must say something selfish. Boyf, I have no idea why. But the spending of the rings, I want you to do it, because I have plans to buy surprises for our 2nd Mth & Xmas. I am a person who loves surprises.

I don't know why but I want the most romantic way of you giving me the ring.
I don't know why but I want to be there with you picking the rings.
I don't know why but I want you to spend all on the rings for you are my Boyf.
I don't know why but I want to give you gifts on our upcoming month & Xmas.
I don't know why but I want you to make me the happiest woman on earth by surprising me with something unrealistic.
I don't know why but I want you to be the man I love now & always. But not forever..., unless time can prevail it.
I don't know why but I want to be that selfish cos you are my Love.

I don't know why but I am just feeling that way. Yes I have to admit that I look not keen on buying rings. My face was a total change cos I really have no idea what emotions to use. I don't know how to use the right facial expression. I so much want to tell you all the "I DON'T KNOW WHY" I really don't know what is with me already. You kept me thinking, really thinking bad. So now I therefore pluck out my courage to type this out for you. Boyf, I have no idea but I feel so deeply attached to you day by day.

Can you remember your qns on "How's your kiss?"? Let me tell you, my LOVE. <3 Boyf, when you plant your kisses in my lips, I feel peace within. The urge of letting me know that you are the one already. No lips belongs to me but only yours. When you kiss me so tenderly, I sense the gentle-ness in you. The really nice guy that I know from the start. The guy who doesn't want to hurt me, being so nice & gentle. Yes starting, your kisses are rough & violent, but as time passes by, your kisses always ease the emotional heart of mine. The fragile heart. You make me feel that your kisses are just so safe. It is like your hug, which is so addictive. I realized your kisses & huggies are equally addictive, cos you know how to make me feel the peace within. I know by kissing you, no harm will come. I love when you slowly place your tongue into mine & make me know that, your kisses belong to me only too. Boyf, I am sorry for being violent at times, but every single kiss you do makes one feel the ease. I have no idea why but I can say that, there's no other kisses I want except yours. The feeling. The emotion. It all runs through when you make me feel that love. Finally I realized when you closed your eyes, you taste heaven. Because you finally have the man you loved by your arms. But Baby, your hug is the best thing a girl can ever have. You are not a teddy bear but something so warm that I know, it is the burning flame that keeps my heart warmth & not running wild. Baby, your kisses are gentle. Your hugs are the warmest thing I ever know, so I want to tell you "I LOVE YOU <3" That's my answer (:

Each and single feelings that my Boyf give me, I know it will be remembered for a lifetime like the way how those guys hurt me && how much feelings I gave them. Yes past is past, but sometimes it do hurts when it haunts you in the night. But I know, I can fight the feelings. I can admit alot of things, but I know one thing is for sure "I ain't giving up anything" Especially when I truly loved this man. Am I getting all mushy and everything? Well I am being abit selfish right now... Cos right now on my head, I got quite alot of wants...

I want to hear my Boyf's voice now

I want to hug my Boyf now
I want to hug my Boyf now
I want to love Boyf trunk loads loads
I want to kiss my Boyf now
I want to be there for my Boyf now
I want to hold Boyf's hands now
I want to see Boyf right now
I want to wash Boyf's hair now
I want to feel Boyf's presence now
I want to see Boyf's SMS now
I want to see Boyf sleeping
I want to date Boyf now
I want to smile at Boyf now
I want hear Boyf making cute voices

Lastly, I want to type.....,

Boyf, I love you.

You are the air I breathe
Because I need you that much (:

I blogged at our TIMING : o32oam again .___.
1o Oct 2oo8, o32oam <3

真正的爱情不是一天两天而是一个长久的时间培养出来的